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Lord of the G-Strings

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Published by ##deleted_812993

Video Transcription

The Hobbit's Tale by Dildo Sagans

It was many ages ago.

that a throbbit named Dildo Saggins would become the bearer of the G-string.

Throbiton was a simple place that was home to the Throbits,

a race of creatures also known as Bothlings, or Bisexuals.

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Hell, actually, if they were Trisexuals, they would try anything, those horny little bastards.

Anyway, it was the time of the annual Throbit Festival,

and the Throbit known as Dildo Saggins would inherit a terrible burden,

a burden that was fought over ages ago in the very same shire that she now called home.

Silly dildo saggins. - Dildo saggins?

Quit running around, would you, ***? You're starting to make me nauseous.

What are you doing so far away from Thrabaton?

Smirnoff, you're in Thrabaton. - Ah, goddammit!

I knew I was going the wrong way.

I'm going to kill that hobgoblin for selling me that cheap crap compass.

So then you've returned for the Thrabbit Festival. - The what?

The annual celebration.

Will there be *****? - Much of it.

Ah, very well, then. You and your two lovely sisters lead the way.

Smirnoff, I'm the only one here.

Say, listen. Have you ever played pull the taffy with a man old enough to be your fa...

old enough to be your grand... your great...

...

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